Sanity Savers
to Reduce Stress and Live a Meaning Driven Life
By Stephanie Marston,
MFT
Does your life feel
chaotic and out of control? Do you continually feel
overwhelmed and overextended? Is there too much
to do and never enough time to do it? If you answered
yes to any or all of these questions, you’re
in good company. The first step in reducing stress
and creating greater work/life balance is to get
your priorities straight.
Sanity Saver#1: Remember What’s
Important. Define your priorities and adjust your
schedule to reflect your values. No matter how frantic
life gets, the truly successful people are able
to rise above the pandemonium and maintain their
perspective. They can do this because they know
what’s important.
Make conscious choices about how you invest your
time and energy. The solution to creating greater
balance in your life is selectivity--it’s
about choosing. It’s not about getting more
done, but being more selective about what you do.
What You Can Do:
Ask yourself: What do I value? What’s most
important to me? What do I really want? What do
I need to change in order to have my values expressed
more visibly in my everyday life? Is there anything
I need to add to my life? Are there activities or
commitments I need to eliminate?
Sanity Saver#2: Put Yourself At
the Top of Your “To Do” List. The truth
is, you have to come first, at least some of the
time. It’s only to the extent that you love
and care for yourself that you’re truly able
to love and care for others. If you’re running
on empty, you’re not doing anyone any good,
least of all yourself.
Taking care of yourself isn’t a reward for
completing your “to do list.” It’s
a function of the fact that you’re a human
being and deserve nurturing every single day. Caring
for yourself is your birthright, have the courage
to claim it.
What You Can Do:
Take a mini-vacation. We all need a break from our
busy lives. There is very little in life that requires
your immediate attention. Start small. Do what feels
manageable: a lunch date with a friend, a massage,
an afternoon at the movies, a walk in the woods,
or making a date to play racquetball. The possibilities
are endless.
Sanity Saver#3: Set Limits so That
You Can Better Balance the Competing Demands in
Your Everyday Life. You may take on more than you
can comfortably deliver in your desire to get ahead,
impress people and live up to other people’s
expectations. Meanwhile, your top priorities may
go unattended. You have to learn to say no to the
things that don’t matter so that you can invest
yourself more fully in those things that do. Saying
no is a way of caring for and honoring yourself.
What You Can Do:
Most people pressure themselves to give an immediate
response when asked a question. But, very few things
require an immediate answer. Why not say, “Let
me get back to you,” and take the time you
need to decide if this is really right for you or
if you’re being seduced by the “I can
do it all syndrome." Remember, you have every
right to say no to something you don't want to do.
Sanity Saver#4: Build Stronger
Relationships. Many of people measure themselves
by the quantity of their achievements rather than
by the quality of their relationships. When you
approach the end of your life, what will be your
most cherished memories? Will it be how successful
you were on the job? How much money you had in the
bank? Most likely not.
What you will want is to remember, and be remembered
for, how much love you shared in your life.
What You Can Do:
Instead of giving your families and yourself only
leftover time, block out some prime time which is
strictly devoted to relationships. If you’re
married, make a date night once a week. For example,
set aside at least one night a week, or more if
you can, to eat together as a couple instead of
as a family.
Sanity Saver#5: Ask, Ask, Ask.
If you’re like most people, you may be holding
yourself back by not asking for information, assistance,
support, and the time you need to fulfill your dreams
and goals. While there’s no guarantee that
other people will cooperate with your requests,
at least you’ve put your wish and desire out
there to be considered. Ask for what you want and
need. You’ll be amazed at how often you get
a positive response.
What You Can Do: Ask your spouse to take the kids
to the park so you can have some time to yourself.
Ask for a day off from work. Ask your children to
clean up their toys or their rooms. But whatever
you do, ask, ask, ask.
(Stephanie Marston is America’s foremost life
balance expert. Her new CD program, 30 Days to Sanity,
contains powerful, innovative, practical tools to
reduce stress, balance work and family and make
time for what truly matters. For more information
visit www.30daystosanity.com)
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