By Ali Hasan Cemendtaur
Ahmad is a good friend of mine. This morning I got
the following SOS message from him (all messages
from Saeed are being produced VERBATIM).
From: saeed @yahoo.com
Date: Oct 11, 2007 9:21 PM
Subject: Emergency !!!
How are you today? I went to Australia for a program
called (world summittion child labor and child exploitation).On
our way back to our hotel we were robbed by a gang
of armed robbers and my wallet and my ATM card and
other valuable things like my ID card was taken
including the wallet.
I needed to pay for my hotel bills but do not have
anything on me right now and I have contacted every
one to be of assistance, please I want you to help
and send about $2,500 to help me pay some bills
here and get my flight ticket back and I will return
the money back as soon as I get back to home by
Friday Morning. I am so sad and unhappy about the
situation here and I have to visit the Doctor at
the Holroyd Private Hospital(villawood) here in
Australia which Mrs Tomajina rushed me immediately
because I was hurt badly so I want you to help me
send some money to pay part of my bills so that
I could leave Australia.
Please I need to hear from you soon as you get this
email, I will send you the information where you
will be sending the money to me through Western
Union. But the problem is that I have sent Mrs Tomajina
to the Western Union outlet here and she was told
that I would not be able to use my international
passport to get the money pick up because it is
not an Australia Passport, So I have decided to
used Mrs Tomajina who has saved my life here in
Australia. please you will be sending the money
through her information to help me get the money
picked up at the Western Union office here in Australia.
Please be rest assured that I will pay back the
money as soon as I arrive back by Friday Morning,
And please understand that your help is much needed
right now because I am very stranded here.
Waiting to hear from you.
Thanks for the effort
Obviously, the message got me very worried. Mindful
of spam I responded with the following.
Is it really from you? Kindly confirm.
I got a response from Saeed, right away.
Thanks so much for the reply and so much concern
towards my situation. Please I need your help right
now that why I have contact you if you can help
me with any amount tangible so that I will be back
home. It really me but I wish to explain better
but time does not permit me because I am using a
public library Internet here in Australia that why,
I wish you can send me the money and when I get
back I will surely pay you back. I will be looking
forward to read from you as soon as possible so
that I can send the information you will be sending
the money to. Looking forward to read from you.
A bit suspicious, I wrote,
Kindly give me a phone number where I can contact
Saeed responded with,
How are you doing? And thanks so much for the reply.
I am very sorry I can't provide any phone number
right now because my phone can't work here in Australia
and the only way I can contact you right now is
through mails, and that why I have contact you if
you can help me with any amount. Please try and
understand me better and I promise when I get back
I will surely pay you back. I will be looking forward
to read from you so that I can send you the details
you will be sending the money.
Being completely satisfied at that point, I wrote:
Please give me the name, account number etc. where
I need to send the money to.
Thank so much for helping me but I don't have any
account here and the neither the poor widow Mrs
Tomajina has but you can kindly send the money through
Western Union Money Transfer to her so that she
can kindly help me pick the money up at the Western
Union outlet office here. Here is her details below:
Recievers Name:TOMAJINA L. SPARTALIS
Add:17 ALCOOMIE STREET, VILLAWOOD
Text Question: Who send the money?
Please kindly get with the necessary information
like MTCN(money transfer control number)and also
the address you use and send the money as soon as
possible. Looking forward to see that
Then I wrote,
Thanks for the information, Saeed.
Let me run to the nearest Western Union. It is late
at night here, but let me find a branch that operates
I have been deeply disturbed ever since I read your
distress email message this morning. In fact I have
Saeed, Because of our years of friendship I am NOT
going to send you $2500 that you have asked for
-- I am going to send you $25,000. I don't want
you to spend any more time in Australia, looking
for a bargain ticket. If the money I am sending
you cannot get you a charter flight, you can at
least come first class on the next airline flying
out of that hellhole.
And please don't think for a moment that I am doing
you any favor. I am merely paying back what you
have done to me through all these years. How can
I forget your help in my hours of crisis? When Michelle,
my first wife, ran away, you started dating her
and provided her support. And innumerable other
times you have given such sacrifices proving yourself
to be a friend I can truly count on.
As for the robbery that deprived you of everything,
I have a suspicion that you have been trapped. I
won't be too surprised if I find out that the hotel
manager and robbers are cohorts. I have even nurtured
the thought of Mrs. Tomajina being part of the gang
— Mrs. Tomajina being thebhotel manager's
mistress. But the fact that Mrs. Tomajina did not
disappear after the looting, and in fact has been
helping you, makes me discount the last part of
my theory -- or else, the plot is really thick and
Saeed, I am disgusted by this incident of armed
robbery of an innocent American traveler in Australia.
It has proven beyond doubt that Australia is not
safe for Americans, and in fact is a terrorist country.
I am going to ask President Bush to bomb Australia.
In fact an aerial campaign, to soften enemy positions,
can commence right away -- but not before you safely
get out of there.
As for poor widow Mrs. Tomajina, kindly thank her
on my behalf. It is great that she is besides you
(in her lingerie?) in this moment of misery. Is
she good looking? Knowing you for all these years
I am aware that you normally like to have a good
massage after being robbed. Kindly ask Mrs. Tomajina
Saeed, Let me not make this message any longer.
I know that having lost everything you are checking
your email at a library and libraries limit the
time patrons can use computers -- these Australian
library terrorists can especially be ruthless.
Saeed, Let me assure you that with my money and
your good looks this ugly episode is coming to an
Hope to see you here soon, before the Australian
skies get filled with our Apaches and B-2 stealth