Do
You Have Four Wives?
By Mohammad A Chaudhry
President
Islamic Center of East Bay
Antioch, CA
In the past eight years, there
hasn’t been a month that I have not been,
rather innocently, asked this question by students
of all ages, “Ay, Muhammad, are you married?”
On getting the answer in the affirmative, like
I always expect, the next question they invariably
shoot is, “Do you have four wives?”
I just smile because the question directly hits
one of the inherent male weaknesses.
The other day my daughter-in-law also told me
a similar story. As she went to drop off Sana,
my granddaughter at a local elementary school,
the teacher after ascertaining that she was a
Muslim asked her somewhat awkwardly, “Do
Muslims have four wives?” Naturally, she
was not very pleased at the question because it
entailed her husband having three more. The teachers
supposedly are expected to be better informed
than the students, but that is not always the
case.
The confusion is endemic A general perception
about a Muslim in this regard is that he is a
man who is possessed by unbridled lust, and is
himself in possession of a number of wives and
concubines, limited or unlimited. In fact, many
are surprised to learn when a Muslim tells them
that he has only one wife. This does not match
with their pre-conceived notion that a Muslim
is one who is at full liberty to shift from one
wife to another, or that it is as easy for him
as shifting from one apartment to another, or
even as common as changing one shirt with another.
Polygamy is a familiar whip-post of Islam for
many in the West.
The Newsweek of March, 20, 2006, has published
an interesting article titled “Polygamists,
Unite!” which deals with the topic under
discussion. Elise Soukup, in this article highlights
“the new wave of polygamy activists emerging
in the wake of gay-marriage movement-just as a
federal lawsuit challenging anti-polygamy laws
makes its way through the courts and a new show
about polygamy debuts on HBO”. “Polygamy
rights is the next civil-rights battle”,
tells Mark Henkel, the founder of the Christian
Evangelical Polygamy Organization. What the Muslims
had practiced so rarely, under strict rules and
conditions, and in most cases most unjustly, often
warranting a spate of censure, and yet got labeled
as polygynists is now maturing up to become an
election agenda in the coming years in Canada
and America.
Islam did not invent polygamy. The practice predates
Islam by many centuries, and in the words of Professor
John Renard, “Several Biblical figures (Abraham,
David, Jacob, Solomon) were among the most celebrated
polygynists”. The Muslims, in fact, brought
a systematic regulation to the practice in the
Arabian Peninsula by limiting the number of wives
to four, as compared to the limitless numbers,
and that too under strict conditions. The Qur’an
very clearly lays down the rule, “If you
fear that you will not deal justly with the orphans,
marry women of your choice, two, three or four.
But if you fear that you will not be able to do
justly with them, then only ONE,… to prevent
you from doing justice’ (4:3)
Anybody can deduce that the verse is about the
orphans, and not about having a harem of four
wives. It was the unjust management of the property
of orphaned female children that had been the
occasion of this Qur’anic verse. Lovers
of polygamy, however, seldom bring the treatment
of orphans in the context.
Dr. Amina Wadud correctly underpins the point
that the verse is mainly concerned with JUSTICE;
dealing justly, managing funds justly, justice
to the orphans, and justice to the wives, etc.”
Another verse further clears the matter and warns,
“You are never able to be just and fair
as between women (wives)… (4:129) The Qur’an
talks about what is permissible, and what is proper;
what human potential is, and in reality what are
the limitations of this potential. It is just
like saying that the car we drive can run up to
a maximum speed of 250 mph, but it better not.
The posted speed limit is 65 mph, and over-speeding
is perilous, both for the driver as well as for
the community, and is a punishable crime.
Imam Farid Esack explains the value of justice
in Islam. ‘Justice receives such prominence
in the Qur’an that it is regarded as one
of the reasons why God created the earth: “and
we have created the heavens and the earth in Truth
so that every soul may earn its just recompense
for what it earned and that it may not be oppressed”,
(45:22). It is a quality of God who repeatedly
assures His creation that He will never deal with
them unjustly by as much as an atom’s weight.
(4:40, 10.44). In polygamy, justice often becomes
an early casualty.
As asserted by the Qur’an, it is just not
humanly possible for a person to have more than
one wife and still be just. Financial constraints
and the just division of time, love and spiritual
affection, shared in perfect scales among two
or more wives all the times is an unattainable
task For example, if the husband buys a new home
for one wife; he is bound to buy a similar type
for his second wife; if he buys for his second
- newly-wed, “honey”, the latest model
BMW, he is commanded by God to buy exactly the
same for his first wife; if he spends 8 hours
with one; he is ordained to spend a similar amount
of time with the other, and so on.
Often people in Islam determined to have a second
wife advance one of the three reasons as a rationale,
the foremost being the financial soundness. A
financially stable person in good health will
justify his going for the second wife on the basis
that he is capable of taking care of her. Helping
poor women by only marrying them is certainly
not a cogent reason for having a second wife.
In the modern times, not all women are a financial
burden.
The second rationale given by a man bent upon
having more than one wife is his first wife’s
barrenness, and in many other cases, her inability
to give birth to a male child. This excuse for
polygamy has no mention in the Qur’an. However,
the desire for children is natural, but what guarantee
is there that the second wife would guarantee
him a child, and that too a male. The third and
the most un-Qur’anic and un-Islamic rationale
often advanced is when a man claims that his sexual
needs cannot be satisfied by one wife, so he should
have two, three or four wives. This basically
is a case of unbridled lust, and warrants psychiatric
help. This, however, does not mean that polygamy
is not permissible in Islam.
In the early days, polygamy delivered great social
advantages to unattached women by providing them
a place of refuge and the protection of men, who
otherwise would have found it impossible to survive
on their own. In the present times, most Muslim
nations have either outlawed or have tightly controlled
polygamy because of its malpractice, realizing
that while financial justice may be made possible,
emotional and psychological equity is just not
possible.
The consent of the first wife has been made mandatory,
and any second marriage without her consent is
deemed illegal. Polygamy thus has never been a
rule or an order in Islam. It has always been
a rare exception. People who are under the impression
that a Muslim must have more than one wife are
absolutely wrong. Marriage in Islam, as in other
religions, is a sacred institution, and its success
rests on total fidelity of the husband and wife
towards each other. In one of the most beautiful
passages of the Gospels, Jesus tells his Disciples,
“Consider the birds of the air and the lilies
of the field, and not to worry about the future:
God would provide for all their needs”.
In a similar fashion, the Qur’an urges Muslims
to find confidence in God’s benevolence
in the Sign’s of nature. They must marry
needy women and have large families, trusting
that God will ultimately enable them to survive”.
Rampant poverty, economic constraints and women
oppression in many Muslim countries have urged
scholars like, Muhammad Abduh (1849-1905) to argue
that Muslims can no longer consider polygamy as
an option, and they cite the Qur’anic warning
explicitly expressed in verse (4:129) which says,
“You will not be able to treat the wives
with equality, however much you desire that. Do
not turn away entirely, leaving her in suspense”.
To them this is a virtual command for prohibition.
Various surveys of Muslim women also suggest that
they are almost unanimous in stating a preference
for monogamy, and not for polygamy which most
often suits men only.
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