Opinion

Letter to Uncle Khaki
By Sir Cam
Cambridge, England

Dear Uncle, Happy Birthday! I know it's not till August, but I thought I'd get in early. Pakistan is 60 this year. And you'll be sweet 64. Are you humming the Beatles tune When I'm sixty-four: "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I'm sixty-four"? Gosh, almost retirement age. But you look ever so dashing in your commando gear.
What I can't understand, uncle, is why people want you to take your uniform off. Perverts! You keep it on for national security and decency. Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz had a point when he emphasized, "In my opinion, the president should remain in uniform in the national interest". What I suspect is that your enemies want to humiliate you by parading you naked like the king without clothes. A few of your friends might want to see you in the raw, but that's another matter.
How are Dot and Buddy these days? Your two Pekinese dogs looked ever so cuddly in those photographs from the time you came to power way back in October 1999. Pat them on the head for me. I mean it affectionately, not like that disgusting cartoon which appeared in the Washington Times in 2005, which showed a US soldier patting a dog labeled Pakistan and saying, "Good boy .now let's go find bin Laden".
Here we are, fighting the war on terror doggedly, and what do we get in return but insults. Does it pay to be America's dog’s body? It's hard not to be viewed as mercenaries for USA interests in the region. I know the cartoonist later regretted the offence caused to Pakistani citizens and the paper issued "regrets for the misunderstanding the cartoon has caused in Pakistan" but the damage to our good image had been done by then. Ah, it's a dog's life. It's that or be "prepared to be bombed back to the Stone Age". Choices, choices.
Your son, Bilal, explained, "He had no choice" (chowk.com, October 1999) when he referred to your intervention at a "unique point in Pakistan's history". Back then he asked, "How could we continue a state of mis-governance for fifty-two years?" Excellent point, but, eight years on, has anything changed substantially in Pakistan? Of course, those in power always rubbish their predecessors while claiming we are living in some kind of golden era.
How come we are always at a "unique point in Pakistan's history" or at the crossroads (there was even a column on "Pakistan at crossroads" in these pages)? We must be going round and round and round. And it's not a merry-go-round because there's nothing merry about this sorry state of affairs. Just take a look at the media.
Sure, most countries have problems, but Pakistan has had more than its share in its short history. Most countries have an army, the Pakistan army has a country. As we celebrate Pakistan's 60 years, one must not forget that over half of this period has been under military rule. How many countries can boast that? Such a short history and so much military meddling in politics. Little wonder, then, that democracy hasn't taken root nor proper institutions established (other than the army, that is).
Your website (www.presidentofpakistan.gov.pk), uncle, lists the following military presidents: Maj. Gen. Iskandar Mirza (1956-58), Field Marshal Mohammad Ayub Khan (1958-69), Gen. Agha Mohammad Yahya Khan (1969-71), General Muhammad Zia-Ul-Haq (1978-1988). Then there's yourself: 1999 to the present. You will be celebrating eight years of rule in October, which amounts to two terms of an American president. Even your buddy Bush is going after the tenure of two terms.
If we follow the Americans so much, why don't we follow them with regard to the maximum tenure of eight years in office? Do the honorable and quit while you're on top and still admired in some circles. Don't be a like a tired old sportsman who is beaten and humiliated because he refuses to go in good time. Sportsmen, though, get off lightly when compared to military dictators. Have a look at history.
You say on your website, "I call myself 'Lucky'. Napoleon had said, besides all qualities a leader has to be lucky to succeed. Therefore, I must succeed". Luck doesn't usually last too long, so beware. Remember, too, that Napoleon had his Waterloo: he was defeated, captured, and exiled. Exile: now that's something your civilian predecessors, Benazir Bhutto and Nawaz Sharif, are currently experiencing. You've stated that you won't let these exiled leaders come back to Pakistan or take part in elections. Are they not Pakistani citizens? How come they can't come to their own country? Uncle, did you know that the tenure of your reign is nearing the combined terms of both Bhutto and Sharif?
Did you see Francis Fukuyama's article in The Guardian on Wednesday in which he says, "States such as Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Lebanon, Somalia, Palestine and a host of others are not able to exercise sovereign control over their territory, ceding power and influence to terrorist groups such as al-Qaida, political parties-cum-militias such as Hizbullah in Lebanon, or various ethnic and sectarian factions elsewhere". Fancy having Pakistan lumped with all this lot.
No doubt you are doing your bit to make Pakistan "a progressive, modern and moderate Islamic state, poised to take its place amongst the developed nations of the world" and I wish you every success in this endeavor. There are real problems, and the question of "image" is one of them. I think the Destination Pakistan 2007 project (www.tourism.gov.pk/vpy/destination-pakistan2007.htm) is a brilliant one, but the hurdles in the way of promoting tourism in Pakistan are many.
The Pakistan tourism lot say, "We invite you to a journey of unbridled joy and beauty. From the mountains of the Himalayas and the Karakorum, to the rich hospitality of Lahore and the breathtakingly stark beauty of the Thar Desert. Pakistan offers you a spectrum of experiences that will leave you breathless. Our rich culture emanates from the ancient Indus and Gandhara civilizations while our traditions can be traced back to Muslim, Buddhist and Central Asian influences. Immerse yourself in the colors of our country's illustrious heritage!"
I'm breathless already, and can't wait to visit Pakistan again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------