Societal Fault Lines
By Qurrat-ul-Ain Rasheed
Washington, DC

 

It was a moment of immense excitement and honor for me when I was selected for the Hubert H Humphrey Fellowship Program, a program meant for the development of mid-career professionals.
Upon landing at JFK airport I expected to see a fast-track life, but even my idea of ‘fast-track’ was much slower than the reality I witnessed. I was bewildered to see everybody running around as if they were participating in a marathon. While attempting to keep up with the pace, I stumbled several times till I reached my destination. I was in a dream mode for the first couple of months, finding it hard to believe that I was continuing the same life, albeit in a different world altogether.
While some would perceive them to be a ‘cultural shock’, my observations of US societal norms are juxtaposed to ample evidence of societal fault lines in my beloved country, Pakistan, which may interest any die-hard Pakistani.

When I began to tread this foreign land, I was carrying a mind groomed by a declared religious society and was overwhelmed by the concept of my chastity and centeredness. I expected everyone to be staring at me and judging me on the basis of my attire, gait or whether my dupatta adequately covered my womanhood or not. Yet, to my astonishment, nobody in this alien land was even bothered about these things. If anything, I would receive ‘Sorry’ or “Are you alright’ remarks from passersby that I would bump into in my dazed state. I felt a strong sense of empowerment when I was not expected to stretch out my dupatta in order to avoid awkward gazes from people around.

When I began attending university, a stranger crossed me on the pavement, smiled and said, “Hello, how are you doing today?” For a moment I thought, "Does he or she know me?” My cold response must have stirred plenty of sourness in his mind, but he moved on. With the passage of time, I came to realize that these people meet and greet everyone with such warmth that anyone would have a good day even after a rude awakening.

Being far from my loved ones, in the US, I came to learn the benefit of my smile, something I could hardly imagine in my own country. Wherever you may go, pedestrians, shopkeepers, waiters, students and professors greet you with a hello and a smile regardless of your ethnicity. No one was concerned with my social standing, financial-wellbeing or marital status. The only thing that mattered to them was my existence, at that very moment. I was comfortably smiling at men and women alike, and my idea of humanity had evolved due to its demonstration by these unfamiliar beings.

Upon entering a public bus for the first time, I expected several instances of harassment. However, not only did I feel completely secure, I also came to observe how caring everyone was. The front seats were reserved for the elderly and special needs individuals. Even they would vacant these seats assuming that someone may be needier. During the rush hours, none of the women clad in revealing outfits were stared down by men with lustful eyes. In fact, they demonstrated deep respect for the opposite sex, which is prioritized and reinforced by the system. Successful nations have realized that the foundation of any healthy society lies in respecting females.

While working in the US, I learned that monitoring was done on a performance basis only. I saw everyone working in offices whole-heartedly. There was no concept of offering lunch or tea to friends in working environment on personal or office expenditure. Those who could afford it travel by car whereas the rest by train. There were no green number plates distinguishing a certain class as privileged over another. People valued their earnings, spent them as they please. Equality is manifested there by self-service, as there are no peons or attendants to serve in public offices. Everyone goes to common cafeterias and is oblivious to his/her status while waiting in queues for a platter of food, which is later required to be washed himself/herself.
Every nook and corner of public areas was so clean that I would keep the wrappers with me till I found a dustbin. I was not being overlooked by anyone except my own conscience that held me responsible. Had I been in my homeland, I would’ve carelessly thrown it in my neighbor’s house, thinking it wasn’t my property.

I anticipated Americans to be laughing at my Asian accent, as that is usually the case in my own country, where social status is defined by language. Yet, it became a source of inspiration and gratitude for the people of my host country. Being bilingual had an element of pride, which earned me their respect. We on the other hand, are attempting to be as Westernized as possible. How I wish that we could learn to be proud of our own identity.

Many times I had to ask professors to link me with references for a good professional affiliation which is something normally done there as a mentorship. They did it if they could and refused politely if they couldn’t ’ , but no one ever suggested or expected others favor beyond office boundaries.

In the US there is hardly anyone without a girlfriend or boyfriend - a fact which is commonly observable. If they are happy with each other they get married, w hile hardly ever cheating or hiding extra-marital affairs. If they can ’ t cope, they are honest with each other instead of betraying their partner or maintaining illicit relationships - a phenomenon which has unfortunately, become very common in my home country, particularly in bureaucracy where it comes with a tag of modernity.
This all shows that a successful life is all about humanity - to be a human first and foremost. Honesty, steadfastness, accepting the reality, being grateful to God for what you have and relying on that, minding your own business rather than being judgmental towards others, treating men and women equally on moral grounds, preferring the same for others as you do for yourself so on and so forth. These are all critical to adopt before we can dream of becoming a developed country. Unless we transform ourselves internally and know what the meaning of true humanity is, no milestone can be crossed; be it of economic development or religious transcendentalism. Many people argue that it IS a developed country and they have systems in place, however, my contention is that they are also human beings who learned from the past and endeavored to put the systems in place.

Self-criticism is tough and accepting the reality is worse as per our books, but we have to start from some point. We need to recognize the most pressing needs holding back the realization of our true potential and align our lifestyle accordingly. Hypocrisy and myopia are the fault lines on which we have built up our lives. This attitude can ’ t bear fruit for ourselves, not even for a couple of years. H ow could it be productive for our generations to come ? Think!
(Ms Qurrat-ul-Ain Rasheed is a Hubert H Humphrey Fellow currently at the Maxwell School of Citizenship & Public Affairs, Syracuse University Syracuse, NY)