Musings of a Wandering Mind Article
Social Media: A Cure or a Disease? Part 2
By Faiza Khan
Newport Beach, CA
In the past week’s issue, I had argued in favor of the merits of social media for Pakistani-Americans and how it impacts us socially. There is absolutely not a shadow of doubt that social media is the ultimate tool for connecting individuals, surpassing all political boundaries and geographical limits. There is an eerie comfort in remaining anonymous yet being connected to an entire audience.
As consumers of social media, we take the power back into our own hands to show the world a slice of our lives as “we” want to show it. This is where we drift into murky waters to face the cons to the pros. There is a plethora of studies, literature, articles and books around the negative aspects of social media, but my discussion shows the perspective of a Pakistani-American observing how it impacts us culturally, socially and economically.
As Pakistani-Americans we constantly negotiate our identities fighting a battle of duality every single day at work, school, college or in social circles. With the advent of social media another channel is added to this struggle. We still want to look “cool” to the world watching us through Facebook, Instagram or SnapChat. To prove that we are not lesser beings biologically as we do not fall in the mainstream masses distinguished by our ethnicity, race and color we go through great lengths to appear as normal as an average American on social media. We are foodies, we like to go to events, restaurants, interesting venues, participate in social activities, visit theme parks, and enjoy parties as much as anyone living in North America does. We take pride in promptly documenting our activities on social media as we connect with the proverbial American dream. Should the sole purpose of social media postings be to make memories for ourselves and share it with our loved ones it would be idealistic. Instead the act becomes a diagnostic check to see how popular we are. We sit there looking at the number of likes and comments coming through from friends and family. All the while keeping a mental note on who is not liking the uploaded photos and who is watching our stories, but not commenting on it. So now when these friends of ours will post something we will not comment on it either. Payback! Vengeance has been served on a silver platter. In my opinion, this creates feelings of unnecessary negativity, insecurity, isolation, and even despair. This is a free country. Everyone has the autonomy to do as they please and no one is pressured to do what they do not want to do. This includes mannerisms on social media. However, this is not how the reality is amongst our circles. My intention here is to draw attention towards the fact that we need to be less judgmental about others and open our minds to the limitless possibilities the simple principle of “live and let live” brings to the table.
I have witnessed serious disruption amongst family members when they see others from their friend circles going on vacations to Europe or tropical destinations. Not everyone is in the same economic condition to be able to afford expensive vacations outside of the United States. At times I have observed the lifestyle portrayed on social media is stylized more for the benefit of others than our own. The mere notion of creating a fake facade that outlives expectations of our social circles in itself is problematic - which sounds absurd but is one hundred percent accurate.
Lately, I have observed the widespread use of social media as a potent match-making tool. Desi families have become attuned to the idea of finding mates through a website or an app. Initially, the whole notion of looking for potential spouses through matrimonial match-making websites was rejected by the desi community as a frivolous attempt to lure singles from good families into fraudulent matches. As time went by, more and more Pakistani-American youth were drawn to it. They found safety in the fact that they could shut down anyone they did not find suitable without creating any publicly embarrassing situations for either parties. Now adults and youth alike actively surf these websites to seek potential matches for themselves or their associates. There are always perils attached to anything out there in cyberspace. Here is where I emphasize the importance of moderation, exercising control and proper “use not abuse” of social media. If used appropriately and with caution as Pakistani-Americans, we can use social media to the best of our abilities and show the world how colorful we are as a distinct culture.
While this debate can go on for an eternity to conclude, I make a small ask - let social media be what it is - an outlet of healthy expression, a portal for coming together socially. Let us focus on the positivity it brings into our lives and not make it a hindrance to our mental and physical well-being.
(Faiza Zia Khan holds a Master’s in Journalism degree from the University of British Columbia, Canada. She has collaborated with news media outlets including Global National and actively volunteers for several community investment projects for the Red Cross, United Way and the Breast Cancer Foundation)
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