When You Go away, My Friend
By C. Naseer Ahmad
Washington, DC
Jacques Romain Georges Brel , the famous Belgian singer and actor, wrote an epic song " Ne me quitte pas " about friendship and affection which has been translated into several languages, including Arabic sung by the Lebanese indie rock band “Mashrou' Leila”. Frank Sinatra and many other famous singers sang the English version with most heart-warming lyrics:
If you go away
On this summer day
Then you might as well
Take the sun away
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people, according the Wikipedia. True friendship that develops out of mutual affection, whether in social settings or as a result of professional association between human beings, will last through the periods of ups and downs in life
My good fortune provided me an opportunity to respond to an advertisement for a part-time student assistant in Mobile Sources Law Enforcement Division - a small but vitally important unit within the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) during the Fall Semester at the George Washington University’s School of Engineering.
In 1974, EPA was in its infancy with a mandate for helping bring about clean air and clean water. EPA’s goal was to reduce gasoline additives such as lead which have been proved as hazardous to human health. I had a minor role; my responsibility was to help develop a database to assist in the law enforcement. After a twenty-five year effort, lead as an additive was removed from gasoline supplied through pumps as a result of the sustained effort by dedicated public servants who continued to work at EPA.
As office space was tight, James (Jim) Sakolosky - the supervisor who hired me at EPA - put my desk near the doorway in his office. Jim was a gentle and kind supervisor who looked out for everyone - exceptionally bright young lawyers with engineering degrees under their belts - whom he supervised. We became friends easily and remained so forever, even though I left EPA in September 1976.
Unfortunately, Jim passed away suddenly on April 13, 2020 - the same day another friend Naim succumbed to Coronavirus. Jim left beautiful memories for his family and friends. Three of Jim’s former associates, including this writer, gather periodically at “Aatish” - a Pakistani restaurant near the US Capitol in Washington DC to rekindle the flames (aatish) of friendship developed while working together at EPA.
Tom Wolfe, former Executive Director, Northeast Midwest Institute remembers our common friend and former colleague saying: “ Jim served as a surrogate older brother and we explored the intricacies of the new agency together. He was a kind, dedicated and immensely talented individual who always had time for others.”
Robert Mussler, an international nuclear energy consultant, wrote: “ I retain a vivid memory of an individual with the most kind and gentle temperament, combined with a genuine sense of humor and willing to go out of his way to enjoy life. If only we all could be remembered so well.”
For this writer, Jim and his loving wife Dixie, were like part of the extended family. They invited me, my parents - when they were visiting from Pakistan - and my wife’s parents - when they were visiting from Nigeria - to their house for dinners and special occasions. Years after I left EPA, my family and I were welcome guests in their house in Arlington, Virginia and when they moved to Lynchburg, Virginia and later in Elizabeth City, North Carolina.
Conversations with Jim were always interesting because he was a good listener, always curious and caring. From me, he always wanted to know more about Pakistan and the current situation in the country. In addition to working at EPA both of us had worked for the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) though at different times and in different roles and places.
I was not the only recipient of his love and generosity. Shahla Farhat, a Pakistani student from Karachi became a part of their family when she was studying chemistry at Randolph College in Lynchburg, VA. Shahla babysat their kids. Jim and his family remained very fond of Shahla even after she moved on to Rice University for her PhD. In fact, whenever something spicy is cooked in Jim’s home, it is called “Shahla’s meat” - as a tribute to the friendship with a Pakistani student from Karachi whom they embraced in their loving hearts.
Jim’s obituary notes that he “ spent his 79 years enriching his earth, community, family, and friends. He taught us that quality time with family is more memorable than material gifts … Jim taught us to follow instructions, do our research, and take time to do things well .”
He is survived by his wife of forty-eight years, Dixie Nash Sakolosky, three children and six grandchildren . For all of Jim’s friends and loved ones, the lyrics of the song " Ne me quitte pas " might be humming in the hearts:
But if you go, I ’ ll understand,
Leave me just enough love to fill up my hand
Though, Jim is gone and not present physically, his memory is alive. And, because Jim was not selfish, he did not take the sun away. So on Mother’s Day, Dixie wrote: “ It's a gorgeous day with bright sun and a gentle breeze. A bluebird has been ever present. I think it's Jim, bringing us happiness.”
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