Book & Author
Khizr Khan: An American Family — A Memoir of Hope and Sacrifice
By Dr Ahmed S. Khan
Chicago, IL
“ I’d like to say to Mr and Mrs Khan; Thank you for immigrating to America. We’re a better country because of you. And you are certainly right; your son was the best of America, and the memory of his sacrifice will make us a better nation — and he will never be forgotten.”
"I am an American patriot not because I was born here but because I was not. I embraced American freedoms, raised my children to cherish and revere them, and lost a son who swore an oath to defend them, because I come from a place where they do not exist."
—Khizr Khan
“Most faults are not in our Constitution, but in ourselves.”
— Ramsey Clark
Khizr Khan and his wife Ghazala shot into the global limelight during the 2016 presidential election. Khan was invited to speak at DNC by Hilary Clinton’s campaign staff. In his brief but brilliant address he paid tribute, to his son — US Army Captain Humayun Khan — who got killed in Iraq and gave lessons in constitution and patriotism to Donald Trump.
American Family — A memoir of Hope and Sacrifice is a fascinating life story of Khizr Khan, a farmer’s son, an attorney, a humanitarian, and father of US Army Captain Humayun Khan who sacrificed his life for his country. The author has — in simple but eloquent manner — juxtaposed many themes: growing up and receiving education in Pakistan, meeting his future wife Ghazala — a scholar of Persian, traveling to Dubai for employment, getting admission to Harvard Business School, coming to United States and early struggles, becoming Citizen of the United States, joining of Army by his son, addressing the DNC, refuting of presidential candidate Trump’s bigotry and bias against Muslims, living post-DNC address activities, and comparing importance of constitution and rule of law viz a viz USA and Pakistan.
The author narrates his life story in eleven chapters: 1. Shoeless in a Shaft of Sunlight, 2. Twenty-One Sparrows, 3. A Stick Becomes a Ney, 4. Tomorrow Will Be Better, 5. The Wonders of the DMV, 6. Already American, 7. No Man Is Complete Until His Education Is Complete, 8. Shining City, 9. Baba, 10. Always Be a River, and 11. God Is Found Among the People.
Khizr Khan was born in rural Pakistan in 1950. He and his wife Ghazala moved to the United States in 1980. The coupled became American citizens and raised three sons in Silver Spring, Maryland. Their middle son — US Army captain Humayun Khan — a graduate of the University of Virginia and its Army ROTC program, was killed in 2004 while stopping a suicide attack near Bagdad, Iraq. He was posthumously awarded a Purple Heart and Bronze Star. Khizr Khan and his wife Ghazala presently live in Charlottesville, Virginia. He holds a BA degree from the University of the Punjab, an LLB from Punjab University Law College, and an LLM from Harvard Law School. He is a member of the Bar of the Supreme Court of the United States, the District of Columbia Bar, the New York State Bar, and the American Bar Association. His law practice includes complex civil litigation, electronic discovery, health privacy compliance law, and civil rights and veterans' rights advocacy.
The author reminiscing about his childhood when his grandfather used to recite poetry of Rumi and Iqbal, observes: “When I was a young boy in Pakistan, my grandfather used to tell me stories in the moonlight before I fell asleep. Some nights he would read to me Iqbal or Rumi or another Persian poet, and some nights he would sketch out a parable, adapting a snippet of classical literature or a lesson from the Qur'an so that a child might understand. He was a wise and kind man, soft-spoken and thoughtful, who believed in two things above all else: education and the fundamental dignity of each person. Many of his stories, indeed most of them, were variations of those themes, lessons of integrity, mercy, and charity. One sweltering summer night when I was eight or nine years old, he sat on the edge of my cot and paraphrased some Rumi ‘So what if you are thirsty? Always be a river for everyone.’ That idea lingered with me. When I was grown and married and had children of my own, I often repeated those sentences to them. The translation from Persian to English is not technically precise, but the sentiment is unambiguous…Those twelve words, I've learned in my sixty-seven years, are a good and useful guide to a life well lived.”
Reflecting on the demise of his son, the author states: “In 2004, our middle son, Humayun, was killed. Humayun was a captain in the United States Army, and he was killed by a suicide bomber outside Baghdad. The Army posthumously awarded him a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart, and he was buried in Arlington National Cemetery with full military honors. Because he died early in the war, and because he was one of the first Muslim American soldiers to sacrifice his life in Iraq, reporters were interested in Humayun. I spoke to a few of them, mostly after his burial, and the stories they wrote were respectful and accurate. Then the world moved on, as it should. Ghazala and our sons and I grieved in private, slowly rebuilding our shattered lives. In Rumi's construction, we were desiccated by thirst. It was difficult to breathe at times, let alone be a river.”
Discussing the background of his address to DNC, the author notes: “A dozen years passed. We remained, through all of them, private people, which is our nature. We were just another middle-class family in a small Virginia city, living our anonymous lives. In the summer of 2016, however, we were invited to speak at the Democratic National Convention. We were hesitant, but Hillary Clinton, the candidate we favored, had planned a tribute to Humayun that night. She'd spoken eloquently—and apolitically—about his sacrifice in the past. It seemed only proper that we stand for him, too. So we took the podium, as I put it that night, ‘as patriotic American Muslims with undivided loyalty to our country.’ Ghazala was too over-come with emotion to speak, but I addressed the Republican candidate, Donald Trump, directly. Over a period of many months, he had repeatedly called for Muslims to be banned from entering the country. I reminded him that if his position had been policy, our son never would have become an American. I reminded him, too, that he had disrespected women, judges, minorities, even the leadership of his own party—a mean and persistent sorting of people into those who would be welcome in Trump's America and those who would not. His was a campaign fundamentally at odds with American values, with the founding principles of a great and inclusive nation.”
Elaborating further on his DNC address, the author states: “’Let me ask you,’ I said. ‘Have you even read the United States Constitution?’ I held up a pocket-sized version. ‘I will gladly lend you my copy.’ I had carried that Constitution with me for years. It was dogeared and creased, marked with notations and highlights. I had studied it, and I had long cherished the words, the ideas, embodied within. To celebrate it publicly, to hold it up as a reminder of what America is supposed to be, seemed the most patriotic thing I could do. Having said our piece, we expected, perhaps naïvely, to return to our quiet lives. That did not happen. Since that night, I have been asked to speak at many more gatherings, large and small. My remarks always focus on the same key ideas: extolling the Constitution and the rule of law, celebrating equal protection and equal dignity for all Americans, professing the need to stand up to words and deeds that violate the ideals patriots hold dear…But to fully explain why I love America, why I am a patriot, I have put even those moments into words. Because so what if I am thirsty? We are all thirsty, from time to time. I will try to be a river, to the best of my ability.”
Reflecting on his habit of keeping a copy of constitution in his pocket, and the importance of justice and the simplicity of law, the author observes: “I started keeping one of those Constitutions in the pocket of my suit coat…It became a reflexive resource for me, part reference guide, part notebook. In time, I added two quotations to the inside of the back cover. The first…from Thomas Jefferson. ‘TJ,’ I wrote, in black pen, ‘1st sec of state,’ a lawyer, believed, 'Building a just and solid govt. at home would be the way the US would serve as an example to the world.' Sometime later, I came across a line from Justice Antonin Scalia, whom I've always admired as a scholar even if I haven't always agreed with his opinions. ‘Rudimentary justice,’ he wrote in 1989, ‘requires that those subject to the law must have the means of knowing what it proscribes.’ That, it seemed to me, was a brilliantly concise argument for keeping the law as clear and simple as possible.”
The author concludes the book by offering thanks: “Thank you, too, to all the people and organizations who've invited us to speak, and to all the people in the media who invited me on their programs and wrote stories about our journey, ignoring my in-ability at times to speak as coherently as I would prefer. Each of them, individually and institutionally, provides hope in a difficult time for my country. Thousands of people have listened to me speak, have asked questions, have offered a handshake, an embrace, a kind and sympathetic word—in every one of those people, I have seen and felt the presence of my Creator. They are all sacred to me, and I thank them for joining on this voyage. I offer my gratitude to the University of Virginia, which allowed us to continue our son's legacy through the establishment of the Capt. Humayun S. Khan Memorial Scholarship. It will be funded from the proceeds I received from this book, and will be awarded to a deserving student based on need each year. Shaharyar and Omer have unfailingly provided love, respect, and wise counsel...Without Ghazala, none of this—the book and, more important, the decades that came before—would have been possible. She has always been the center of gravity in our family, the source of the pure goodness I see in our children…Finally, I am grateful Humayun graced our lives for twenty-seven years. The light of his candle shines even now, a glow that brings us comfort despite the ache of his physical absence. It has been my highest honor to share that light.”
Khizr Khan’s memoir An American Family is a story that embodies Rumi’s saying: ‘So what if you are thirsty? Always be a river for everyone.’ Indeed, the author strived to be a river for everyone. In a nutshell the book illustrates what real American patriotism is, and that America’s strength lies in diversity — as it welcomes all from all lands. It is a wonderful read for all — Americans and others aspiring to be a river for everyone!
