Dear Nausheen
MK:
I have a flat in Karachi in my name. The original
papers are with me. Somehow my stepmother and stepsister have
rented out the flat without my knowledge with false lease
papers. Now I want to sell my flat for my medical treatment.
My step mother passed away last week and it seems like my
stepsister is creating hurdles for me in disposing of the
flat. How can I sell my flat from here in the USA ? Please
advise.
Nausheen: This
is unfortunately a common problem for Pakistanis who live
in the US and own real estate back in Pakistan. The most efficient
and direct way of handling the situation would be to take
all your original paperwork with you to Karachi and deal with
your stepsister and the renters in person. In the same vein,
if you are not able to go in person but you have family or
friends in Karachi who will work on your behalf, you will
want to send them certified copies of your paperwork to get
the process started.
Do not send anyone your original paperwork.
In any case, you should consult an attorney in the US who
specializes in the Pakistani community and international law
to find out if there is some legal recourse for you. This
can be a long process, especially if you are trying to take
care of it from the United States and you don't have anyone
in Pakistan to help you, so be aware of that. Good luck.
A Student:
I have been an international student in the United States
for five years and have just completed my undergraduate degree.
While going to school over here I have made some really good
friends who are non-Muslims (I won't say what religion they
are). All of them are really nice people and very close to
me. I have always wanted to talk to them about Islam to try
to explain to them about the religion. The problem is I do
not know how to approach this kind of issue and how to convey
my message without offending them. I don’t want to lose
their friendship.
Nausheen: One of the unique aspects of living in the United
States is the ability to make friends of different ethnic
and religious backgrounds. It's wonderful to hear that you
have found people of different faiths that you can connect
with. Too often, Muslims in the US keep within the boundaries
of their own ethnic groups, which stifles communication on
a larger scale and leads to greater misunderstanding of Islam.
This isolationist mentality ends up propagating stereotypes
that hurt all Muslims.
I can, however, relate to your hesitance to bring up religion
with your non-Muslim friends. Sometimes, when we bond with
people of different faiths, we spend so much time trying to
accentuate the ideals we share that we minimize our differences
to a fault. It is important to share that aspect of yourself
with your friends, but you want to make sure that the conversations
are not preachy, judgmental or apologetic on either side.
Talking about Islam should come naturally from within the
context of a friendly dialogue, so don't try to force it.
If you notice the conversation is heading towards a direction
where you can bring up your Islamic values, then go for it.
Most non-Muslims have many questions about Islam, and your
friends may be just as interested in discussing your religion
as you are. Like you, they may also feel that talking about
religion would somehow be offensive to you, and are hesitant
to discuss it. Just remember to be as open and respectful
of their religious beliefs as you want them to be of yours.
And I think, once you get past the initial discomfort, if
there is any, all of you will realize that the meaning of
a deeper friendship is in the mutual understanding that can
develop only through open, honest, and respectful communication.
(Editor’s Note: Dear Nausheen is an advice column that
addresses the unique personal, social and cultural perspectives
of South Asian Muslims in the United States. Nausheen Pasha-Zaidi
is an author, teacher, mom, and mentor. Born in Karachi and
raised in New York, Nausheen has lived and worked in a number
of states in the US. Her experiences have provided her with
a balanced, no-nonsense approach to life that is tethered
by her ability to regard the validity of multiple worldviews.
“I don’t see the world in black-and-white, but
in glorious hues of pastel.”
If you are at a crossroads or have an issue you would like
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Selected letters will be edited and published in Pakistan
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