Making Lemonade
By Mohsin Hafeez
A handsome boy grew up in a corner house right by the US Cultural Center in SM Housing Society, Karachi. And worked on school and played - equally hard - a combination he somehow managed to craft with ingenuity and carried it all the way to his adult life! Of that, one has plenty of evidence. A cousin of his, about six years his junior, would come after school to learn from his bespectacled wisdom. Being just about eight, the younger cousin looked up to the older cousin, which continued through their adult lives. The older cousin would lend Enid Blyton’s books and ask his kid cousin brother to read and provide a verbal recap. Then it was time to play. It’d start with badminton, and then graduate on to cricket. A first, among many others, the younger cousin remembers sharing with the older one was playing cricket with a cork ball. A red, shiny, freshly knotted cork ball which the two boys walked across to Nursery market to buy for Rs 5.
The school debates was another area where the older cousin would coach the younger one; he would edit and recommend ideas to consider, and ask for input and not merely impose them. If a bully ever took liberty with the younger cousin, the older one would be ready to take him on! So Omer!!
And so on it continued! Going forward, it was time for the older cousin to go to the London School of Economics after Karachi Grammar School. The family had a huge going away party, with a poem inscribed on the invite card, alluding to the pride being felt on his acceptance to the LSE.
Years went by and the older cousin would visit back home from London, and the family would get together for fun and some great food!
After graduation, the older cousin taught economics at KGS and The Academy, in addition to joining his family business. As the younger one needed help in Economics, the older one tutored him in concepts like Liquidity Preference Theory, Propensity to Save and to Consume, the Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns, Monopoly, Oligopoly, Perfect Competition and the rest. These concepts stuck in the mind of the younger cousin and got progressively entrenched as he advanced in school, and, to this day, rolls back memories of the older cousin giving lessons every time the younger one reads up a piece related to anything he was tutored on. And till just a few months ago, the younger cousin would remind the older one of those days which visibly made him mighty proud.
So, there was this huge influence that the older cousin exerted on the younger one which went on to shape his life in so many ways, some perceptible, others not so much. Some consciously taken in, others just covertly, permeating the psyche of the younger cousin’s thought-process and belief system, or lack thereof. Sounds like a nice ferry-tale of respect, love, and bonding, doesn’t it? Except that it’s not. It’s a true story!
My beloved first cousin, Omer Yusuf, whom I looked up to as an older brother and a close friend I could share much with, passed in England a couple of weeks ago! He went as he lived his life. On his own terms. With a bang! It was vintage Omer! Or as we called him in our family, Manna! Even in his passing, just as he would surprise us all with his veritable authenticity during his lifetime, he left us all in a state of shock and utter disbelief. From what one hears, he had his sense of humor intact till the very end! His zest for life was exemplary. His tenacity to fight in the face of awing adversity was, and is, a model for others to follow. It gave him quality, and, one would argue, also years in life that perhaps seemed initially wishful given his heart condition. He’d take it head on. Anything. Fear didn’t exist in his life.
Having been diagnosed with a heart ailment at a very young age, Omer went through a by-pass in London almost 30 years ago. Among many others, I remember one conversation with him on his return from surgery that related to his exchange with the cardiologist which, while being adequately and conservatively prescriptive, also threw an interesting perspective on life: life is for living! I can vouch that he took that advice to heart. He lived life to the fullest, shaming his peers and friends who couldn’t keep up. He expanded his business across borders. He developed products that invited interest from various sectors of his market segment, both in Pakistan and abroad. His views on facilitating export business and cutting out the red-tape, so eloquently articulated in print and on electronic media, were always bold, original – true to character – and well received.
During his lifetime, Omer was blessed with the choicest, the choicest of requited love and successes. The one challenge he was confronted with, and for almost three decades, was his heart ailment which he was cognizant of. And he fought it to the end, valiantly, leaving a sound of galloping hooves. It’s the mark of a real man to not let this setback come in the way of his life and his business. He was always progressing, marching forward, procuring the best that life had to offer. Earlier this year, he made me joyous by breaking to me that he had found a possible business contact in San Francisco which could entail a trip. I had planned the details, down to the menu, the foodie that he was! The lemon that was dealt in the form of his artery issues only emboldened him to use it to make lemonade. And, boy, what excellent lemonade it was, for him and for those privileged to partake!Omer was the first person with whom I shared how I proposed to my wife, Zeba! He found it scintillating just as I did how he asked his beloved wife, Aaly! We grew even closer after I returned from the US after school and lived in Karachi for a few years before returning to the San Francisco Bay Area. My girls adored their Manna (Omer) Chacha! Sahar, my older daughter, would often call him to catch up or to get a perspective on what was on her mind. He loved them back and would write to me about how impressed he was with them on how well they turned out.
My travel plans to London and Karachi would hinge on his schedule and, if and when possible, I would try to coordinate. I didn’t consider my trips really complete without Omer being around. It hasn’t sunk in yet, despite the hours of calls with our mutual friends and family group zooms. It’s brought a lot of uncertainty in life, except for the one glaring clarity that comes right through like a razor: my life is going to be so different without Omer being a phone call away!
More than being a tribute to Omer Yusuf, this note is a eulogy to a super human being from someone who had high admiration for him. It’s a personal recount of cherished memories of a loved one, that represents the feelings of not just the author but is also reflective of Omer’s family and friends. Not that Omer needed any humanizing at all, especially among folks he knew, but to his business partners, it’s an attempt to provide another perspective on our beloved cousin and brother. That of compassion. Of fairness. Of justice. Omer passed in medias res. Amidst a tale. Many of them, just as he built his life story on so many plains. For us, his life is an unfinished story; perhaps, for him, it was all done and dusted with, so he sort of lived on the edge. This, we will never know.
Several years ago, another cousin of mine, Naella, sent me this anonymous note on the loss of another loved one; it is apt that I share it here to find some solace:
As we go through life, we become close to many people. We influence one here and another there. And they influence us. We remember the impressions the person has made on us long after we have forgotten the details of what the person was, or has said, or done. But we live on in their thoughts as they live on in ours. They have the best of us and made it theirs, as we have taken the best of them and made it ours. The two are inextricably intermingled. This, in a sense, may be what we mean by immortality.
Now that we have redefined mortality, and are feeling consoled for that, in closing, let’s all reassert our love for Omer!! And celebrate his life, just as he would want us all to. Love you, always, and thank you for all those beautiful moments. And to show us all a way to live it up, regardless. And make some awesome lemonade. And share it too. May you rest in eternal peace! And keep shining on!
Mujh ko shikwa hai meray bhai keh tum jaatay huay
Lay gayay saath meri umr-e-guzeshta ki kitab
(Mohsin Hafeez, MBA, CFP®, available at mohsinhafeez@berkeley.edu, works for a large international financial services firm; in addition, he is an adjunct Professor of Finance & Economics at UC Berkeley Global, Hult Intl Business School, and Golden Gate University Ageno Graduate School of Business.”)
