The Professor and His Last Lecture
By Dr. Syed Amir
Bethesda, MD
The author is not even alive, but his book has climbed to the top of the bestseller list in the United States and has become a worldwide sensation. Rarely has an intellectual and academician created an impression so deep and abiding as Professor Randy Pausch did as he battled pancreatic cancer, a deadly disease. His doctors had given him only a few months to live. However, rather than wallowing in self-pity or agonizing over unfathomable questions, such as why me, he was determined to make the best of his life during the short time he had available to him. Pausch, a professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University and an acclaimed teacher and researcher, died on July 25, 2008, almost two years after his cancer diagnosis. He was only 47 years old.
Every year, Carnegie Mellon University has a tradition of asking one of its senior professors to deliver a talk, imagining that it was their last lecture, and an opportunity to ruminate on the most important lessons they had learnt in life that they would like to share with their students and colleagues. However, in consideration of the grim prognosis of the professor, the title of the talk, the last lecture, was modified to “journeys”, before he was formally invited to deliver it. The professor chose the theme of his talk: Achieving his childhood dreams.
On the day of the talk, the University auditorium was packed to capacity. Professor Pausch opened the talk by projecting his CT scan images that showed ten cancerous tumors on his pancreas that had led his doctors to conclude that he had only a few months of good health left. The grim medical prognosis notwithstanding, he looked cheerful, exhibiting no signs of moroseness or fear of impending death. The talk was powerful, punctuated with witticism and humor, and his disposition buoyant. He narrated the dreams he had nurtured as a child, most of which had by now been fulfilled. He bravely asserted that he intended to have fun with his remaining time on earth; his greatest regret was that he would not be around to watch his three young children grow and would not be able to protect them and guide them through life’s perils.
However, his overriding reason for giving the talk was to leave for his children a video documentary as his final legacy, as it would enable them to know him a little better when they grew up. He paid rich tributes to his wife, expressing his love through a huge birthday cake that was wheeled onto the stage to honor their life together. The accolades came as a complete surprise to his wife who had had her birthday the previous day and was present in the audience. The comments were poignant as she knew she was unlikely to have another birthday with him.
The lecture electrified the audience and generated a wave of sympathy and admiration for the courage and fortitude with which the professor was facing imminent death at a relatively young age. Many in the audience were moved and overcome with emotion. The lecture was subsequently posted on a website, and the video was watched by tens of millions of people around the world, and has since been translated into many languages. It was destined to receive an even higher degree of publicity. Fortuitously, sitting in the audience at his talk was a reporter from the Wall Street Journal, Jeffrey Zaslow, who promptly recognized the significance of and potential for a worldwide interest in the talk the professor has just delivered. He wrote a column about it in his newspaper, which elicited an enormous response.
Zaslow then attempted to persuade Pausch to collaborate with him on writing a book based largely on his reminiscences as captured in his last lecture. He believed the story was gripping and the book was likely to be spectacularly successful. Finally, the professor consented; however, the narration took a while. Each day, he dictated the talk on his cell phone to Zaslow as he daily rode his bicycle in his neighborhood to get the exercise deemed crucial to preserving some of his waning strengths. The project was completed in fifty-three long bicycle rides.
In his book, also titled The last lecture that came out shortly before his death, Pausch muses about his childhood dreams and ambitions. As a child, he recalls, he wanted to paint the wall of his bedroom with his drawings, an idea with which his parents, especially his mother, were not thrilled. Eventually, his father sensing his great enthusiasm relented and his mother reluctantly went along. As the nervous mother waited, he and his friend painted the wall with mathematical equations they had learnt, a picture of a rocket ship and a submarine gliding under the water surface. With their meager artistic skills, their paintings could not have been a visual delight. However, he felt eternally grateful to his parents who had permitted him to indulge in his childhood fantasy, a privilege which his visiting friends were envious of.
Another fantasy that absorbed him as a child was the acquisition of stuffed toy animals, really huge ones -- bears or apes that were common attractions in carnivals or public festivals that abounded in his days but have become rather rare now. His father again humored him and once bought the most expensive stuffed rabbit on sale at a carnival for him. Passion for stuffed toys never left the professor even when he became a well-recognized computer expert and he continued to collect many of these toys as he was growing up.
Pausch fondly remembers that as he completed his graduate education, having obtained his PhD, his proud mother would often introduce him to her friend as “my son who is a doctor, but not the kind who help people.” He felt so grateful and appreciative of his parents that he dedicated his best-selling book to them with the comments: With thanks to my parents who allowed me to dream, and with hopes for the dreams my children will have.
In the final chapter of his book, Pausch describes how nervous he was before his talk at Carnegie Mellon, as he climbed onto the podium, studiously avoiding looking into the eyes of his audience, among whom were many of his closest friends, for fear of breaking down. Unsure of whether he would be able to complete his last presentation without being overwhelmed by emotions, he had prepared a few slides that had his closing remarks and the farewell message. Indeed, he did not need to verbally deliver a farewell message as the last slides showing him surrounded by his three young children said it all: his lecture was not intended for the audience present, but the children who were not there.
The huge popularity of his book, which he could not have foreseen before his death, may finally help bring some financial security to his family, something he was so concerned about during the closing days of his life.
