A Point to Ponder
By Nilofer Sultana
Tucson, AZ
For the last twelve years or so, I have been traveling back and forth between Pakistan and the USA. There is one comparative cultural aspect of the two countries that I wish to bring into sharp focus for all your readers. We in Pakistan, have developed a nasty habit of leveling needless criticism against the USA. We unknowingly boast about our cultural values and rich traditions. Those belonging to the Eastern culture are supposed to respect and look after their old parents and grandparents. Contrarily, I have observed that the old are much more privileged and have far greater rights in the USA.
While visiting the famous Yesumati National Park, in California, I was given a free life time pass to visit any national park in the USA by virtue of being a senior citizen. My son, his family members would be entitled to a free entry into any park if they were to accompany me. I was overwhelmed by this extraordinary concern for the elderly people. In every park there are concessions, availability of wheel chairs, scooters, etc, to make the trip comfortable and enjoyable for the old and the weary. There are even special routes for them in some cases. The deserving old citizens are entitled to free treatment, free medicines, old age benefits, concessional tickets for entertainment programs, etc. At times in some malls the elderly customers are entitled to purchase anything they like at decidedly low prices.
Some people criticize the Western culture on the ground that in their old age the parents are cast away in nursing homes or the old people's homes. Let us ponder for a while on this core issue. In countries like Pakistan the trend for nuclear families (good or bad is besides the issue) is growing with every passing day. The question is: do we have the nursing homes and other facilities for the old. Many aged parents are the victims of empty nest and loneliness syndrome. Somehow the old parents do not fit into the hectic schedules of their children. At least in the West, they are looked after in the old people's homes.
In Arizona I happened to visit a place meant exclusively for the old, called 'the Sunset Valley.' A number of facilities and amusements were provided for the elderly ones in this valley like a theatre, a swimming pool, a park, TV and game rooms and a full-fledged library. The old ones had so much to share with each other. At least they were not confined to one room, perennially dreading the chance of incurring the displeasure of their sons, daughters-in-law and even their grandchildren.
Do the sons coming to the USA in quest of golden opportunities really care about the agonies that their old parents have to go through back home? A mother boasts with a stifled sigh, 'My son is in Amreeka ( America).' He is, no doubt, leading an opulent life and possibly sends some money to his parents off and on. But What about the emotional vacuum in the lives of the enfeebled old parents? Assuredly the parents keep their eyes glued on the door, unknowingly straining their ears to hear the familiar footfalls and the much awaited knock at the door. They are reluctant to travel all the way to their son's house where they know they would not fit into the over-stretched time schedules and jet-set lifestyles. So the question that defies solution is: can we find any emotional props for the lonely old parents in Pakistan? Do they have any facilities in the hospitals, parks, shopping centers or banks where most of the aged people queue up endlessly to get their meager pensions? Can we emulate the West and do something tangible to make their lonely old age less painful? A point to ponder!
