A Change in Our Attitude
By Nilofer Sultana
Tucson , AZ
There are some peculiar features about human attitudes that simply cannot go unnoticed. Hopefully, Pakistanis living in the land of opportunity will think about these facts in a somber frame of mind.
While living in the USA, the Pakistanis compulsively do all the odd jobs without considering any of these infradig. They very willingly lend a helping hand to their wives in household chores. They do not consider it odd to serve dishes to the guests invited to a dinner. Washing the car, cleaning the bathroom, baby-sitting be it briefly, none of these tasks makes them feel awkward or embarrassed.
The moment they step out of the airport in Pakistan while on a vacational visit, their attitude changes as if by an invisible touch of the homeland
breeze. It would be below dignity for them to do any household job or to pick up their children. Probably there are hosts of relatives to make them feel as royal visitors from abroad. Unquestionably male chauvinism and false male egos are deep-rooted in our Eastern societies. There are a number of servants at their beck and call due to the widespread poverty and they feel no qualms in depending on domestic help for an errand as small as getting a glass of water for themselves.
Why do the proud Pakistanis so easily forget that they belong to an Islamic country and our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) never considered it below his dignity to help his wives in their routine jobs and he even mended his own shoes? In Pakistan, the male members of the society deem it an insult to do any job they consider menial and lowly for them, particularly in the rural areas. We often see the men relaxing on a charpoy, gossiping idly while their wives fetch water from remote distances; women prepare fodder for the crops and even help in reaping crops but the sturdy strong man would not budge to offer a cup of tea to his sick wife. We know in Islam a woman has a special status and she is not meant only for bearing or rearing children and being treated like a virtual maid. This baselessly false egotistic attitude is changing but at a very slow pace.
Wishfully in not too distant a future those living in Pakistan or going to Pakistan from here would stop behaving like ego maniacs. They should think that work is worship, and dignity of labor has to be given due importance.
Another very important factor that most of us must have observed and noticed is that when living abroad, the Pakistanis are imbued with a rare patriotic spirit and are supersensitive about their homeland. They live in perfect unity in a community they are proud to label as Pakistani. They are a source of moral strength to each other. They celebrate Ramadan, Eid and other festivities in an atmosphere of blissful togetherness. At the iftar parties, the Eid and Friday prayers they show a unique spirit of unity. For them being a Pakistani is all that matters. No one bothers who belongs to which sect or to which particular part of the country. They go out of the way to help each other.
Once in a Pakistani restaurant in Dallas, I along with my friend came across a Pakistani, a total stranger for that matter. He beamed at the sight of two women in the Pakistani dress. In syrupy tones, he asked us, "You definitely belong to Pakistan sisters?"
Getting the answer that he very much expected he entertained us with hot spicy samosas and tea and insisted on inviting us for lunch the next day. He literally implored us, "Please come over. My wife will be overjoyed to meet you, she misses Pakistan too much, she will love to talk to someone in her own language."
Once on an airport a Pakistani in the transit area said spontaneously, "Look there is a PIA plane outside." But once back in Pakistan they start thinking like Punjabis, Pathans, Sindhis, Shiyas and Sunnis. Sectarian clashes are a daily occurrence in our country. Not that everyone is like that but generally the warmth they show to each other as Pakistanis in another country is just not there in our dear homeland.
In Pakistan we would not invite anyone on the roadside for a cup of tea. It is by living in another country that we realize what nationhood really means. Away from our homeland anything related to our country makes us feel nostalgic.
Our eyes would inadvertently follow anyone in a Pakistani dress. The women living in the USA would boast about Pakistani embroidery on their dresses. But when we are living in Pakistan we ridicule everything in and about Pakistan. We condemn the services of PIA. Probably we have some cogent
reasons to criticize our leaders, or say, Pakistani products.
But there are so many good things about our homeland that we have to value. Let us be proud that we have our own country that is the symbol of our identity. We all, anywhere in the world, have to do all that we can for our country and a change in our attitudes is one step in the right direction.
