A Soldier’s Last Letter
By Dr Syed Amir
Bethesda, MD
It was the bloodiest war in America’s 250-year-old history. The American Civil War, lasting for four years (1861 to 1865), claimed more than 600,000 lives on both sides, representing approximately 2% of the entire population of the country. Based on today’s population, it would be equivalent to 6 million American dead.
Civil wars are notoriously brutal and vicious in nature, and the American Civil War was especially so. The carnage was so extensive that the number of dead, mostly young men, exceeded the total of American war deaths in all subsequent conflicts combined. Much of the devastation resulted from the development and use of more lethal weapons, such as relatively accurate guns that supplanted old fashioned, unreliable muskets.
Although there were other issues, economic and social, that divided the nation, slavery was the chief source of controversy between the two opposing sides. It was legal and widely practiced mostly in the thirteen southern states that had declared secession from the union. The Republican Party, under President Lincoln, much more progressive at the time, especially as measured by today’s standards, was opposed to its extension to any state where it was not already legal.
The Southern States dependent on cheap slave labor to work in their cotton and tobacco fields believed that their lifestyle would be severely threatened if they were deprived of the free labor. The war finally ended when General Robert E. Lee, the respected commander of the Confederate forces as the army Southern States were called, surrendered on April 14, 1865 to General Ulysses Grants, commander of the Union armies
The first battle of the civil war was fought on July 21, 1861, 150 years ago at Manassas, Virginia, known as the First Battle of Bull Run. Even one-and-half centuries later, the wounds of the civil war have not entirely healed and the tragic events, much like the 9/11 terrorists attacks, continue to haunt the American psyche. Neither have the memories completely faded. Earlier this year, the 150 th anniversary of the civil war was commemorated on a blazing hot summer day in Manassas. Soldiers from the opposing sides, dressed in the uniforms of the day, engaged in mock skirmishes, reprising the events of that historic day. There was extensive coverage of the event in the press and a reassessment of civil war history and its repercussions.
Many books and articles have been written over the years about the civil war and the human toll it exacted. Among them, one of the most poignant and emotionally powerful documents is a farewell letter that has received renewed attention recently. It was written in July 1861 in Washington by a young officer, Sullivan Ballou, to his wife on the eve of the first battle he was about to enter.
The letter and the civil war stories were published recently by The Washington Post on the 150th anniversary. The contents of the letter are highly moving, and strongly touch emotional chords. Furthermore, it is written beautifully, presenting an excellent specimen of English prose. A shortened and edited version is presented below:
Dear Sarah,
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days -perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready.
I cannot describe to you my feeling on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps before that of death — and I, suspicious that death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country and thee.
The memories of all the blissful moments I have enjoyed with you come creeping over me and I feel most grateful to God and you that I have enjoyed them so long. If I don’t return, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you and as my last breath escape me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness and struggle with all the misfortunes of this world to shield you and your children from harm.
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you — in the garish days and in the darkest nights...amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah, do not mourn me dead — think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.
Ballou, the writer, was 32-year old at the time and a major in the Rhode Island’s Infantry Division. He was fatally wounded in the battle of Bull Run just a few days later, never to see his family again. The letter was never posted, never delivered. It was discovered among his personal belongings subsequent to his death. The letter became the subject of an award-winning documentary about the Civil War made in 1986 for Public Broadcasting Service. A copy of the letter is now preserved in the Rhode Island Historic Society.
