Three Women: Three Attitudes - 1
By Mohammad Ashraf Chaudhry
Pittsburg , CA
“Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealing with men.” - Joseph Conrad, a famous British writer
Shagufta Memon, Wahida Shah Bukhari and Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy are not just three women; they are three symbols, three attitudes, three phases, and even three different species. As symbols, they stand for Servitude, Aggression and Knowledge; Attitude-wise they highlight the Cause, the Consequence and the Solution of a major prevalent problem-female abuse; phase-wise, they mirror the Past, the Present and the Future of Pakistan; specie-wise they remind one of a Dove, a Hyena and an Eagle.
These three individuals - the victim, the victimizer, and the “Saving Face of Pakistan”, had one common factor in them: they all were female. It is another matter, however, that the thrasher wrapped herself in a dopatta, the docile victim took the beatings as the act of fate with a bare-head, and the graceful eagle stunned the world by staying sleeveless. Did their outfit in any way influence their performance? Certainly not. One conclusion, however, can be drawn from this: the covering of head did not bring any gentleness to Wahida Shah; nor did its absence, in any way, succeed in turning the lamb of a Shagufta into a lion. Respect and applaud, on the contrary, stood lined up to embrace one who held the most coveted prize, the Oscar, by attiring herself in a dazzling Bunto Kazmi custom- tailored outfit. All the three ladies cited above had one more common factor in them; they were educated. But look at the outlook and the outcome that the quality and the application of that knowledge registered on them!
The question that warrants an answer is not, “Why did Wahida Shah resort to slapping a government official in broad daylight?” Anybody familiar with the social milieu of Pakistan as prevalent in the feudal and rural areas would know the answer. An incident of this nature is as common an occurrence as the habit of smoking a cigarette, or the drinking of Pepsi Cola. The real question is: “Why did Shagufta Memon take the public thrashing so passively and why did she let pass this rare opportunity of hitting a jack-pot of fame so guilelessly?” Indeed, she could not be so stupid as she appeared. She was not expected to act like a David, confronting a Goliath. What was, however, legitimate was to expect from her to, at the minimum, raise her eyes, or even her head; and at the maximum, say a word like, “Madam, your action would be consequential, and I will make sure that it was”. No such thing happened there. Even a lamb bleats before it is put under a knife. But not Shagufta. Why!
THE SHAGUFTA MINDSET: The answer to this why lies in the mindset of women of the Indo-Pak subcontinent. Since centuries, through religion, culture, tradition and habit, women are taught to be submissive because it is in service and servitude that their virtue and goodness is enshrined. The grooming in the art of docility and servitude or persecution of the females starts even before they are born: being ‘unwanted children’, they are often aborted. Even their mothers wish they were not born. “A mother forgets her labor pains and the ensuing trauma the moment she learns that it is a son”. A girl’s life journey basically is a tale of three S’s: submission, subordination and service. Good girls are taught to be ‘will-less’ and ‘tongue-less’. From the choice of education to the choice of subjects in college to the choice of life-partner, they are hardly ever consulted. All their life, they remain under the ‘watchful’ eyes of the entire male and female world- parents, brothers, the cousins, the neighbors and the male members of the community, all self-assign to themselves this duty. Often a female remains a suspect as if she were ‘a corrupting virus’ potent enough to defile the angelic male world.
In the light of the above, it can be said that Aristotle was not very wrong when he labeled women as ‘natural deformities’, or at best as ‘imperfect males’ Michael Flood hints at another kind of female oppression; it is not always the men who are the oppressors of women; often it is the women themselves who are taught to feel contempt towards their own-selves. Men never considered, nor will consider women as complete humans. That is one reason that the Greeks banned women playing the roles that involved chivalry or intelligence in their Tragedies. Socrates deemed women as inherently coward; Timaeus warned men that if they lived immorally they will be reincarnated as women. So basically, a woman in the past, and in the present, is considered a curse.
Our own misogynic mullahs and the repressive shame law view women in the same colors. Professor Reza Aslan points out, “Misogynistic interpretation has dogged Sura An-Nisa verse 34 because the Koranic commentary has been the exclusive domain of Muslim men.”
“Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.” 4:34
My friend, Dr. Nazeer Ahmed looks at this very verse from a different perspective in his translation of the Qur’an. He sees men not as maintainers, but as the protectors of women; not because they spend out their property on them, but because of the grace (bounties) that Allah has bestowed on some over the others…he finds the word, “Daraba”, which is often translated as to “beat”, as not consistent with the teachings and the Sunna of the Prophet. The word has a variety of meanings, such as, to bring out ( in discourse), to put forth ( in logic), to extract (in mathematics), to travel (in geography), to draw (in sociology), to beat or strike (in common usage). The term, “Faddal”, meaning grace, bounty, and felicity applies to both men and women. While some men may have more ‘strength’, most women have more ‘grace’. So the phrase “some over the others” in this Ayah is reciprocal between men and women. Allah bestows as He wills, on whom He wills”
So misogyny or gender prejudice is not something that is divinely ordained. It is a problem maintained and sustained with effort by males with a purpose. Violence visits women in all forms - rape, domestic abuse, spousal beating, nose-mutilation, disfigurement by acid, honor killing, custodial abuse, and summary killing of women suspected of an illicit liaison through a custom called ‘Karo Kari’. Women accused of illicit relations remain dishonored even after death. In Karo Kari, women killed do not get a normal burial. Their bodies are often thrown in the river. In short, women in our culture do not hold any control even on their own bodies, over their speech or their behavior. Shagufta falls in that general category of women, as do about 80% other women.
Even when this article is being written some more tragic incidents involving women abuse have occurred. In Matiari, a woman gets her nose mutilated because she resisted a rape attempt made on her by a few influential men; In Alipur, a woman remains subjected to sexual abuse for a few days and is then paraded naked; in Bhakkar, a nine-year-old girl is saved just in time before she was married to an old man in compensation for a crime committed by another male of her family in the ‘Vinnie” custom. Today as in news, in Karachi’s Gulistan-i-Johar, five small girls get kidnapped in five days; they are raped and later dumped outside on dunghills. Shagufta and Habiba Memon did not speak out because they were not equipped with the basic mechanism/mindset with which Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy had been blessed. (Continued next week)
