Diary of a Non-Resident Pakistani
By Syed Kamran Hashmi
Westfield, IN
Rummaging through the pile of books for my Mac Book Pro on the side of my bed, I struggle to wake up, my eyes still heavy and closed, my mind still sleepy and disoriented. It is five in the morning. The alarm clock has already gone off to remind me to get ready for work.
Once my hand recognizes its surface, I place the sleek, lightweight laptop on my chest, lifting up the display screen from its base. It comes to life immediately with a slight mechanical noise, its bright light piercing my squeezed eyelids. Squinted, I start browsing the internet. Is there anything special? Probably not. Then, what am I looking for this early in the morning so eagerly? A business deal or is it the performance of international stock markets for future investments? Neither one of them. Then, is it the number of likes and comments on a Facebook post? Of course, not. Instead, through the Internet, I try to reconnect myself with the current events in Pakistan from where I left them before I went to bed.
Lately, I realize that a simple habit of following the national news has seized control of my mind like an addiction in which the vicious cycle of drug withdrawals that leads to over-indulgence which results in profound guilt never ends. A routine that does not please me since there is hardly any good news in the media but is guaranteed to make me a nervous wreck.
Anyway, in the next ten minutes I need to glance at the e-papers. First, of course the current one, followed by another, then another; at least five of them, I skim through them all taking in the important events. Then, while having breakfast, I read my favorite columns and update myself with today's political agenda. Only, then I feel satiated.
Sitting in the car on my way, I not only insert the car key in the socket to turn on the engine, I also stick the aux lead into my Samsung Galaxy connecting it with the audio system of the vehicle. Again, I browse through the app of Pakistani politics and click on one of the daily talk shows. Even though, most of them are boring and repetitive, I still enjoy listening to them, a habit that I am contemplating to give up. In the next 35 minutes, by the time I reach the work place, I have already finished one program. The recorded programs do not contain advertisements, so they run shorter and a little more enjoyable than their original version which contains up to thirty minutes of advertisement time for a one hour long show. I repeat the same exercise on my way home. Equipped with all the latest updates, trust me, I know what is going on in Pakistan moment by moment: Imran arrives in Islamabad, Maulana Tahir Qadri leaves Dharna, Mian Nawaz Sharif meets Asif Ali Zardari, PPP promotes Bilawal as its new Chairman and so on. Sometimes, I believe I am more informed about them than a professional journalist who covers politics; and can visualize these events so clearly as though they are unfolding in front of my eyes. But, to tell you the truth I don't live in Pakistan. I live in the United States of America (USA) more than seven thousand miles away from Islamabad. I left the country of my birth and my childhood decades ago.
To tell you more, I must admit that I hold dual nationalities, one Pakistani, the other one, American. If push comes to shove and if the law permits me to keep only one, then you know, which one I am going to keep, right? I am totally invested in America. All my kids are born here. Growing up, I am sure they love the country of their childhood as much as I do mine, or may be a little more because they know their quality of life would not be better anywhere else.
In addition, my house, my retirement investments and my life insurance, everything caters to my needs here in the USA. The likelihood of me moving back to Pakistan, to be honest, is less than the odds of a having a snowfall in Karachi during the summer time. In spite of this harsh reality, my heart longs for a ‘new’ and progressive Pakistan all the time. From five in the morning when I start groping for my laptop till my mind goes numb late at night, I am rooting for that change. If asked my colleagues and friends may even reveal that my soul still resides in Pakistan and only my body has immigrated to the Northern suburb of Indianapolis, unattached and disinterested in the local politics. I cannot disagree. Which is why I may not be able to tell you the name of the Mayor of my city or the name of local Congressman. However, you bet I can expound on every reason for the delay in local body elections of Punjab and Sindh. I can also allude to the rulings of the Supreme Court of Pakistan in its favor and cite you the Constitutional clauses which deal with the issue.
My story should not surprise most Non-Resident Pakistanis as I find a majority of dual nationals following the same pattern even when they have lived outside Pakistan for a quarter century or more. The severity, the shades, and the reasons may be different but the motif, the concern for a stable and progressive Pakistan does not change. I watch Pakistani news channels running all day long in their households. I see them supporting the sit-ins or arguing against it, I listen to their concerns, I feel their passion and I ask myself: Do Pakistanis living in Pakistan appreciate that passion too?
