April 30 , 2010

 

Musings of a Superannuated Man

 

Retired means to my mind a person who was tired earlier and is now tired again. He was tired while working for a living and is now tired of having nothing much to work for except to keep on living. .

Retiring from service, on superannuation, does not mean that one has to retire from life itself. Had that been so, the angel of death would have got me a long time ago. I keep myself extremely busy doing virtually nothing but giving the impression to that angel that it would not be an angelic act to spirit away such a busy, useful person. If he, nevertheless, calls he would first be put on hold and would then be connected to the voice mail. This is what he would hear:

“This is the voice mail system of Retired Guys, Inc. Thank you for calling; your call is very important to us. If you are calling to find out the welfare of a member, please press ‘1’ now.

“If you are calling to secure the schedule of a member, press 2 now and you will be advised of the working hours and shift of each one.

“If you are calling to leave something for a member, please press 3 now and our system will give you the directions to our receiving dockyard.

“If you wish to join any of our more than a dozen facilities, please press 4 now and you will hear the addresses to enable you to select the one nearest you. Please keep your pen and paper handy.

“If you need to speak to a particular individual, please press 5 now and you will hear the extension numbers of our 123,456 members in an alphabetical order. For more options, press 6 now.

“If you are already feeling drowsy, tired and confused, after hearing the menu of this super-soporific, dopey joint, we would urge you to take a nap now. When you wake up refreshed, you may redial our number and hear this menu again. Or, you might have by then, hopefully, forgotten why you called us. Have a nice nap.”

The angel of death would not call again being thoroughly confused by the blessings of modern technology. His experience for so many centuries would come to naught in a system that subjects him to the monologue of a machine and turns his own voice into a soliloquy of an idiot. Even an angel can’t have a dialogue with an answering machine!

The numerous manifestations of digital technologies starting with the personal computer to the Internet and cyber space make me feel like an Alice of the 18th century transplanted into the Wonderland of the 21st. A.D stands now for All Digital.

I realize why god has favored us with ten fingertips -not for counting- but to keep pressing the keys on the computer pad, or the buttons of other digital gizmos, bulk of our waking hours, without developing calluses on the tips. The system undoubtedly saves a lot of physical exertion. It gives a fast tempo to whatever you are doing. And, it doesn’t disturb your sedentary posture in the office chair. The lack of exercise expands only your girth. To compensate for all the hours spent in a chair you get on the treadmill, recalling the words of Alice: “This is a strange country; you keep running all the time to be able to remain at the same place.”

You may prefer to go on a jog. You see every day so many persons, particularly women, jogging all times of the day in various stages of undress to make up for the labor saved by the press button jobs.

The desktop personal computer, introduced a couple of decades back, marked the advent of the computer age. America rushed headlong into this new era, more people responding to the allure of a powerful new master. The copy-cats of Pakistan and of many other Third World countries, who put on proudly used American jeans with large holes on the knees, have acquired this contraption to be “in” the elite crowd. For them the computer is the master of their master. You can well imagine its status value for the slave of a slave.

Even in America a new national divide is developing between technological haves and have-nots. Eschewing personal computers in this day and age is like saying “no thanks” to a refrigerator or telephone. If you are not computer literate, you are in American lingo “no good for nothing”.

Fortunately, I did not have much difficulty in handling a computer for word processing, since I had already known typing fairly well. It was, however, like riding a horse after having ridden a donkey for decades. And, by leapfrogging a century or so, one does not become a person of modern age.

Matter of fact, I was labeled an outdated, out-of-step, person over 20 years ago when I had to give a talk to a group of new entrants to a Central Superior Service (CSS). Talking on that day about the moralities of service, I had emphasized the need to avoid the temptations of corruption and abuse of their powers, as it would never pay in the long run.

After the talk some of those young officers remarked, I was informed later: “What an antiquated, outdated individual. He strikes more like a Don Quixote.”

Retirement did not unhinge me. For, I had not allowed myself to be defined by my career or official status. So, I did not lose my identity when my career was pulled away. But, I did find it inconvenient to have to stand in a queue for long periods of time to make payments of my utility bills. Earlier, some staff member attended to this enabling me to get through the working hours seamlessly.

Books have been and still are my best friends. And, I avoided work-related social bonds. My friends have always been from outside that circle. They continue to be my friends and the source of support till now. That has been the greatest blessing for me.